A little diet humor for some motivation
Contributed By Sandy | Published: Aug 31, 2004
Diet Excuses
- But the doughnut was calling my name.
- But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.
- I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-called dish, so I had an ice cream.
- If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
- If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
- If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
- Cookie pieces contain no fat -- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.
- Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
- Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the calories fall out.
- Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out,
but I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes.
I don't exercise at all. If God had wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them up higher on my body.
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