Around the Learning Curve
Contributed By Sandy | Published: Jan 24, 2005
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by by Bob Schwartz
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Way back when I became a runner I not only learned about the many potential places one could chafe, but like cotton sweat pants on a rainy day (not a good idea), I soaked in all information regarding running.
I began with the basics and learned that aerobic is not when your ballpoint pen becomes airborne and I eventually appreciated The Wall as something other than a music album by Pink Floyd. I discovered a tempo run is not running with a Walkman to the beat of your favorite song and discovered that glycolysis was not a new way to remove unwanted facial hair. I also learned fartleck involved periodic fast pick-ups and not something associated with doing a run in close proximity to having eaten a meal of refried beans.
In becoming a newly inducted member of the Neophyte Running Society, I also gained a fresh appreciation for biology and cytology. Science wasn't my forte in high school as I had struggled like an ameba out of water. Or was that a protozoan out of soil? Whatever. In short time though I became as comfortable with scientific athletic principles as a well fit orthotic in a running shoe.
I read about things like the importance of a proper cool down for effectively clearing the adrenal gland hormone noradrenaline from one's blood. Heck, before I started running I didn't even know I had an adrenal gland.
I also read how oxygen is the terminal electron acceptor in the energy-generating process of aerobic respiration that occurs in the mitochondria of exercising muscles. Apparently more than just something in the air.
In immersing myself in running related lingo, I further uncovered that antioxidants have nothing to do with the agenda of an anarchist group in avoiding oxygen consumption. Free radicals doesn't involve releasing political prisoners and I learned that pronation has nothing to with good feelings about your country. Also, bonk became known as something other than where British people keep their money.
My molecular biology lessons continued and I became more familiar with the definition of adenosinetriphosphate as being the immediate source of energy for muscle contraction as opposed to the word that knocked me out of the seventh grade spelling bee.
I also began to learn terminology related to running injuries and often engaged in the unilateral game of Differential Diagnosis with my new running friends. They weren't always amused. Apparently a little knowledge can be dangerous or, at a minimum, more than a tad irritating.
I would have previously thought that chondromalacia had something to do with time-sharing condominiums in Malaysia. Now, with early morning studying, I'd not only learned all methods of treatment for this knee injury but felt confident that if orthopedic surgery was required - - I could do it all by myself in my kitchen.
In addition to appointing myself as Chief of Surgery, I also anointed myself as Commander-in-Chief of the battle against germ infiltration. I became a little maniacal about getting sick and throwing my training off schedule or missing a race. The Center for Disease Control was no longer in Atlanta, Georgia, but in my basement. I learned all about infectious viruses and I implemented measures to reduce the likelihood I was ever going to become an unwilling participant in the game of Bouncing Bacteria or Peripatetic Parasite.
I honed the ability to spot someone's runny nose at 100 yards and then steer clear for fear that catching a cold would hinder my long run in a couple days. I also developed the capability of walking into a room of 50 individuals and upon hearing a muffled cough I could immediately identify the culprit. Hey, we all have certain skills! Call me the constant defender from contagious conditions! The protector from pathogen! The vindicator from virus! All right, call my sanity into question.
As time went on I realized that running terminology was becoming even more scientific with new and improved training methods to help with performance. Granted, there were not yet any technological advances short of a cable car that would allow me to run effortlessly up an 800-yard hill. However, there were workouts designed to increase my ml.kg.min VO2max while running just below the sudden onset of rapid lactic acid collection which occurred via the conversion of pyruvate through the anaerobic pathway and, in turn, enabling me to avoid the accumulation of ions interfering with the mechanical contraction process of the muscles, all the while attempting to not exceed the ability of the bicarbonate buffering system via the production of carbonic acid. Something like that. All right, perhaps I could memorize the lingo but was a little fuzzy on its meaning.
I did begin to realize there was a fine line one could cross in accumulating training info. That line of annoyance between knowing just enough and going overboard as you bore to death the uninterested in discussing things like nutritional ergogenic aids to enhance oxygen metabolism or the Optimum Recovery Ratio of carbohydrate to protein in stimulating insulin levels and glycogen replacement in a synergistic fashion.
Admittedly, I may not be as exciting at dinner parties with my running related and scientific training vocabulary but on the bright side, at least my high school biology and chemistry teachers would be proud of me.
And feel free to send me your questions. For I am Mr. Good Pace - - The Running Science Ace.
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Excerpted from the book "I Run, Therefore I Am - Nuts!" with the permission of Human Kinetics publisher
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