Contributed By Sandy | Published: May 6, 2005
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My first job was in a running shoe company; I tried but I just didn't fit in. So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
If the refrigerator and television weren't so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any walking training at all.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at 5,000 dollars per month.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is.
If rabbit's feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again" - Erma Bombeck
I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
The advantage of running every day is that you die healthier.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example: if the advertisement strongly suggests that particular brand of running shoes enabling athletes to perform amazing feats, the advertiser wants you to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability.
If you are going to try cross country, start with a small country.
Ok, here is one that isn't a one liner
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!".
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Tags: funny, jogging, running
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